Personalize that lead

The lead in Wednesday's (Nov. 19) issue of the Future on the story titled "Students win Hispanic nod" by Jane Martinez takes a nice approach to telling the story with an alternative lead. Her story is about 15 UCF students who won Hispanic Heritage Month Scholarships. And rather than write a basic summary lead that simply says, "Fifteen UCF students are winners of Hispanic Heritage Month Scholarships of $5,000 each," which is similar to leads that I have seen in the Future and other college papers, she tells the story of Diego Marin, one of the winners. This is what we call using perspective when reporting on events, awards, or even on bigger issue stories. Here is the lead as it appeared in the Future:

Diego Marin, 24, had only one goal when he was growing up: to come to the United States to receive a good college education.

He came alone, leaving his family in Venezuela. He held whatever jobs were available, such as dishwashing, in order to save money for school. Shortly after he arrived, he received the dismal news that his mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer. He wanted to fly back home immediately, but she forbade it.

"That phone conversation was the single most inspiring thing in my life," Marin said. "I know that she wanted and needed me to come home, but she put her needs last and wanted me to succeed."

The story uses a three-paragraph lead to tell his story through an anecdote (a mini-story about the larger story). Now, given the relatively short length of the overall story, the anecdote could probably have been tightened to two paragraphs, but it still works because it is followed by a strong nut graph, which is essential when using the soft news or news feature lead approach:

His difficult experience as a Hispanic in America, the obstacles he has overcome and all of his efforts to strive for a better education are some of the reasons why he was one of the 18 students that earned a Hispanic Heritage Scholarship this past month.

The nut graph serves the purpose of telling the reader why the story you are telling through your alternative lead style is news. It contains the "why should I care?" element.

Look for this opportunity in your stories, especially when you are working on stories that are about events. Remember, these stories are about people and involve people. Use them to tell the story. For more on how or when to use anecdotal leads, check out these tips.